I'm Moksatara. I was ordained in June 2015, at Akashavana retreat centre in Spain. My Private Preceptor is Punyamala. I live in Sheffield in the UK. I currently live with my partner Vidyavachin and our four month old son Philip and I currently spend my days parenting.

The lockdown began shortly after I found out I was pregnant. Thankfully I had just been on retreat at Taraloka, as this became my last "in-person" retreat for a while. With the birth of my son due, I was aware my life would change a lot, as I would have less personal "freedom". It felt as though these changes arrived much sooner with lockdown. I sometimes grieved for lost opportunities before becoming a mother, especially going on retreat. I was glad to go on online retreats at home. The way the movement has responded to the restrictions by having so many online events has come at a very good time for me as a new mother, and I'm aware many people who aren't as able to leave their homes for many reasons are also appreciative to take part online.

My role at the Sheffield Buddhist Centre as Mitra Convenor continued during lockdown as we worked from home. This looked like zoom meetings, emails, online event planning, and lots of personal contact with mitras over the phone. I was surprised by the depth in communication I was able to enjoy over the phone in the first lockdown. It seemed the conditions of less busy-ness allowed for spaciousness in communication and a deeper listening. I began maternity leave in September and now spend my days cuddling, feeding and playing with my son, along with lots of nappy changes! It's a rollercoaster of a time, with lots of physical challenge.

I'm grateful to feel embedded within a sangha here in Sheffield, despite not having a formal role at the Centre for now. I miss my friends and family. Not being able to see them often has helped me realise how much I value and thrive on close friendships and the sense of kinship I get from lots of close contact with them.

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